Final Paper: A Phenomenological Study On Empowerment or Powerlessness In Cyberspace

Johanna Lyn U. Gatdula                                                                                                                      AB ISA                                                                                                                                                                  INTFILO

The Elegant Saga Of A Keyboard Warrior

What is it to be powerful? Some would say that it’s to have all the fame and money in the world. Others might say it is to possess incredible knowledge and be able to take control of things and people. The most conventional way to be powerful probably is to have the world at your fingertips. Somehow, modern technology, through Internet and social media, has found a way to micronize all of these dimensions of power. It is quite obvious how the Internet is an extremely influential platform for it has somehow seeped itself into the configuration of everyday human activity, especially in terms of socialization and entertainment.

To be empowered now is to be able to project who you are, or at least who you want to be, through advertising yourself online, all of this of which is made possible by the Internet, social media and cyberspace in general. It gains you the ability to capture other people’s attention, waste their time and invoke emotions from these individuals from the other side of the screen. There is so much power in being able to manipulate other people into shifting perspectives and yielding strong emotions from them especially with no actual confrontation involved. This makes you a lot less vulnerable to them, and them a lot more vulnerable to you, with regards to how they submit to your provocation.

Somewhere in the middle of all of this, the line between actual reality and reality in cyberspace gets quite a bit blurry as the person behind the computer screen gets affected by their online reality. We could even go as far as saying that the Internet gave the people the ability to play god or at the very least, the courage to do or say whatever they want regardless of the consequences. This courage and ability now is what gave birth to cyber bullying. With how widespread and multifarious the Internet has become and how involved and dedicated humans have become to it, it is pretty safe to say that almost everybody, to a certain degree, has been a victim of cyber bullying.

I have been a part of an exclusive online writing community that conducts itself mostly via newsletter, ever since I was twelve years old. I have always loved literature and have always wanted to develop my writing abilities, so to be invited to join such a prestigious group felt like such a privilege. The way this community works is with members emailing their works to the community so that other members can give their feedbacks and constructive criticisms. Back in 2012, a new member of the community emailed her “welcome work” and asked everyone to give their comments about the piece that she had written. Me, being an active member, gave my feedback, which mind you, was very constructive and respectful, given how we also have member etiquette and guidelines in the community.

This is exactly what I said on my comment: I really enjoyed the concept of the story. I feel like having a same-sex couple as the protagonists of the short is very current. My only issue is that it kind became draggy and repetitive halfway through. Also, the descriptions became a lot less about what the protagonists feel and more superfluous. Other than that and a few grammatical errors, this was an entertaining short. I am looking forward to your next one! A few hours later, I hear my laptop start blowing up with notifications from our chat room and it turned out to be from this author that I gave my feedback from. At first I was kind of nonchalant about it thinking that it must be some sort of thank you for giving my feedback, like what we would normally get from other authors.

I opened the message and all I see are curse words after curse words in full caps and bold. She also said things like: “how dare you say that”, “who do you think you are shoving your crappy unhelpful opinion”, “you don’t even know how to write”, “just because I’m new here doesn’t mean you get to be rude to me or criticize my work like that”. She went on and on, even directing attacks on the way I look, my writings and how terrible they were, that she would get me kicked off of the platform, she even went as far as threatening my family, saying she would kill me and my family if I comment on her works again, she was making attacks completely unrelated to writing and the feedback that I gave.

I was very taken aback with how she reacted to my comment that my palms started to feel clammy. Given how my remark was mainly positive, I was so puzzled with the way she took it that I even double-checked my comment to make sure that I really didn’t say something rude or crass that possibly caused her to be upset. I felt a rush of emotions run through my body at that moment, one second I was confused and was so sure that she wasn’t talking to me or she made a mistake, another I was upset and hurt with the way she “spoke” to me, then I was angry at this lady for thinking that she could threaten me like that and also, I was scared because I started thinking, what if she really comes after me. I started shouting for my sister to show her the messages, at this point I was an anxious-emotional wreck and my sister had to calm me down. It was quite a dark time for me as well for I was just barely fourteen years old when this occurred, an anxious, hormonal and sensitive one at that.

Aside from the usual rude comment that I get from social media, this probably was the very first time I was actually cyber bullied, as it was the very first time I truly felt violated, disrespected and attacked. I was in near tears as she kept on making threats after threats, to a point that I don’t even reply to her rants. The only reply she got from me was: Ma’am I don’t understand where all of this is coming from, to which she vociferously replied: “don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about you f*ck*ng b*tch”, “how dare you make comments about my writing you don’t see me commenting on your works”, this of which made my spine crawl. I felt powerless to be honest, since I couldn’t really do anything to stop her from attacking me, there was no way I could pacify her attacks because to her I could very well be a robot behind a computer screen. Several times during her eloquent rants, I would even start sweating and gasping because of how sharp, offensive and personal her words got each time. These attacks went on for days before I reported her messages to the heads of our community and only then did it stop since she got removed and banned from the platform.

This experience truly stuck with me till this day and probably will for a very long time. It is quite crazy how this event actually changed the way I configured the way I project my self online, much more the way I actually use social media in general. Now I barely have any social media accounts, mainly for the fear of turning my self vulnerable to attacks and giving too much personal information. I do not even comment and share my perspectives online anymore as I did when I was a bit younger having realized the permanence of these simple opinions and how they actually affect other people in real life.

This particular experience made me realize how much power this other individual possessed over me given how her messages emotionally triggered me in real life even though I might have appeared nonchalant and uncaring about her from her point of view. That is given how I barely responded to her rants and how diplomatic I was in the few incidents that I did. It also made me realize how much power my words and opinions held over her with the way she retorted so violently, enough to actually make threats and attack me verbally. From my point of view, it reflected much of her insecurities in real life.

On the other hand, the way she conversed with me over a social media platform made me think that she might not be fully in tuned with the fact that there is another person on the other side of the screen, that there is an actual person receiving and reading these hateful messages that she sent. Maybe subconsciously, she believes that everyone else and everything else on the Internet is just a projection of her world and her perspective, and that the “people” behind the screen are just robots who are incapable of having feelings and emotions. This in turn, transforms her in to this invincible god that holds power over all of her projections and she is given unlimited cards to be able to emotionally abuse another individual over the Internet.

I truly doubt that this lady could be as aggressive and belligerent in real life as how she appeared to be online. I don’t believe she would feel as almighty nor would she be as confident as her online persona in the real world, in front of other actual people with actual confrontation involved. No normal teenage girl that aspire to be a writer would have the guts or would be insane enough to present themselves as a loudmouthed, quarrelsome individual if she wanted to gain any kind of respect from her peers. This girl that cyber bullied me over a petty criticism that I made about her writing (which she asked for by the way) could never in a million years come up to me in real life and say all those nasty things to my face. There truly is so much power in anonymity, in not having to face any real consequence, because in real life, she is just a mere keyboard warrior that has no real power.

The following illustration may be able to project the point of the matter:

A person’s power and confidence only overlaps with the real world at a minuscule degree, as opposed to their persona in the cyberspace, which is most likely a heightened, more aggressive version of them. They do not have the power to be who they are online in real life because then the world is not in their command, they are not the center of the universe and other people now have the physical ability to defend themselves.

To conclude, power is indeed a very personal and even subjective thing. It is something that could be physically asserted, emotionally asserted or it could very well be an illusion. The security and invincibility of online anonymity offers so much opportunity for an individual to exhibit dominance, as it scratches all liability and consequences. But personally, I believe that this type of power is a mere caricature of what true power is, it is a reflective mockery of the power that people desire to possess. True power and empowerment is to be able to hold your ground and present yourself truthfully both online and off. It is to be able to fend for oneself without the need to attack another individual. It is to be able to take criticism professionally and constructively without destructive emotional attachment. It is to be able to get a hold of your emotions and take control of your insecurities to work for the better. It is realizing that beyond the Internet, there are people with actual feelings, lives and perspectives just like yourself. Power is to be able grasp both dimensions of reality and have a strong concept of where the line between real life and the cyberspace is drawn.